10th – 16th September 2017
While I have been going on this journey I have changed so much from the person I was before. I have come so far and learnt so much that I thought that there was no chance of me going backwards. I was wrong.
I have told you before that I have suffered with depression in the past. Depression brings a lot of negative thoughts and I kind of naively thought that through this journey I have been down I am now immune from it coming back.
Over the last few weeks I have felt it come back. Nothing to the extent I use to have, nothing that I needed medication to get over. But enough for me to notice I was on my way.
Over the last few weeks I have seemed to let everything get to me. Things that I would not normally bother about. I have believed every negative thought that came to my head, and everything has literally gone wrong and I couldn’t seem to deal with it.
I felt that I was going through a tunnel with no light at the end of it. Usually when I have been in that dark place before I would sit there and think ‘woe is me’ all the time and I’d have no desire to leave.
This time though it was a place I just didn’t want to be. I knew it was happening but I couldn’t seem to get out of it even though this time I wanted to.
At church on Sunday it was said that some people need to get more joy in their lives. I thought that is me! I was definitely looking for the joy. So in my heart I responded and it was amazing how the depression lifted.
That dark tunnel all of a sudden had a light at the end of it and I found my way out.
It’s funny because certain situations didn’t change. Negative thoughts still came into my head but I chose not to believe them. Everything still seems to be going wrong but I changed the way I have dealt with them.
Just the fact that I admitted that I needed more joy everything changed in my head and I don’t seem to be so down anymore.
Well done. Don’t be afraid to reach for help if you need it. Depression is real.