Day 325

Sunday 20th November 2016

I have been hearing a lot this weekend about identity and being happy with the person we are. 

I think your identity starts at birth when you are given a name. 

I have 4 sons and they are all adopted. When my 3rd son was born his birth parents never registered his birth. He has a dash where his name should be on his birth certificate. 

2 years before he was born I had a dream that I would have a boy under 6 months old and he would have no name, the dream also said that I was to name him Jonathon. 

This dream however was impossible to come true because you would never get a child under 9 months let alone 6 months and a child’s name is usually registered at birth.

However it did come true . We got him at 8 weeks old and we called him Jonathon or Jonny for short.  The name Jonathon means gift of God. I believe that dream was from God. 

We had to apply for a passport for him which was quite an ordeal because he had no first name. We did eventually get one but it came with 4 Xs where his name should be. The passport office were unsure of what to do because they had never seen anyone apply for a passport with no first name before. 

Jonny finally got a name officially at 14 months old when we legally adopted him. Even though he had no name until he was 14 months old, he still existed. He was still a living breathing human being. God however gave him a name 2 years before he was born. 

Sometimes I know I felt like I don’t belong, I have felt insecure with my identity with who I am. I do now believe that God has a plan for my life, just like he has for Jonny’s and all my family. 

I have lived so long believing I’m not worth it. But God doesn’t think that, my family doesn’t think that – it’s been only me who has thought that. Fortunately I don’t think that anymore and I have realised that I should be proud of my identity and who I am because that what makes me, me.