Year 4 month 7
July 2019
We have 2 dogs – they are Hungarian Vizslas named Viz and Wesley. A few years ago we decided we wanted to breed Viz and she had 4 puppies. We kept the first born and named him Wesley.
They are generally good dogs. We have a lot of land around our house so we don’t actually take them out for a walk – we just let them out. They don’t go far and they generally come back when they are called.
This month though has been different. We let them out and then they just don’t come back. About 4 or 5 times this month they have been out over night. We go looking for them but they are no where to be seen.
One of the nights they went missing was the night of a terrible thunderstorm. We thought that would bring them back but it didn’t. The next morning they still didn’t come back.
The only thing we could think of was that the storm scared them so much that they got disoriented and got themselves lost.
I spent most of that morning calling round the dog wardens, kennels and vets – anywhere I could think of, hoping they had been found. I even tried the lost and found pets on social media, but no one had seen them. Later that day they did eventually turn up. They were a bit worse for wear and tired but we were just happy they were found.
This whole scenario got me thinking. It made me think that it is similar to my life.
I have for the last few years been going down this road of self discovery trying to find out who I actually am and what I have to offer. On the way I overcame so many of my mental health issues. You could say I really did find myself.
That however has not stopped me from getting lost again from time to time. Some days I am doing brilliantly – eating well, thinking positively, ready to fight all the challenges of the day and raring to keep moving forward. Then other days come and I am doing the total opposite.
It’s like I can’t stay found!!
I feel sometimes life is just hard and it takes all your strength to get through it. I think for me that’s when I slip and lose myself again. Staying strong all the time is exhausting.
So I have decided I am not going to beat myself up over it. Ok so sometimes I lose my way on this journey but at least I always find myself again and I believe now because of the journey I always will.
Sometimes we all get lost for various reasons. Sometimes those vulnerabilities become public through your choice or sometimes other. But what I do know is that God is there and sometimes let’s us go though these difficult times to mould us and prune to become the person that God planned. As God said to me during my difficult time was “patience” I was obedient to his word and now I know he’s guiding me on the right path mentally physically and morally. God’s Grace is with you Debbie