- Year 3 week 43
16th – 28th October 2018
When I was a child, peoples mental health wasn’t something that was really recognised. If you saw someone with issues or problems you sort of tried to ignore it. And if it was in yourself you were made to feel stupid or told to get over it.
Hundreds of years ago if you showed you had a problem you would have been put in a mental asylum probably never to be seen again. It seemed to have mental issues was something to be ashamed off and hide from people.
In this day and age though it’s more talked about and it’s also a lot more common than we think. In my opinion I think we all have mental issues – the things we think can determine our whole day. It can also determine how much we think of ourselves, our mood, our motivation. Your mind determines everything you do.
I feel having low self esteem, insecurities, anxieties, eating disorders, believing the lies you tell about yourself stems from bad mental health. I know there are lots of other causes but these are the ones I have personally had to get over.
When I started this journey nearly 3 years ago I would never have said I had a mental health problem. I would have probably said there’s nothing wrong with me other than being overweight but the further I have gone on this journey the more I realise that I totally did. I just didn’t recognise it. It was probably because I didn’t feel I could do anything about it so I denied it.
Once I confessed my feelings It helped me get over it. I remember a particularly low point for me lasted a good few months. The kids were quite little and I did nothing. I sat on the sofa all day wallowing in self pity. The only way I can discribe it is that I basically lived in my head and I couldn’t look outwards. I was totally miserable and I didn’t have the desire to want to change it. It was like I was happy to be in that depressed state.
Over the last week the kids have been off school and Matt has been away and me… well I went back to that person again. That person who lives in her head.
It actually shocked me that I got back there because I thought I got over that. The only difference this time though is that I didn’t want to be there. I spent the first half of the week really battling with my emotions. I was believing all the negative things my mind was thinking. I really wanted to snap out of it but I couldn’t.
I then remembered all the things that helped me the first time. Confession helped me get over it last time so maybe it will do it again. So I told a few people how I was feeling and I have to say it really worked. I got some great advice and by the end of the week I was back to my normal self again.
I was brought up in a age where feelings like that were shameful and you weren’t encouraged to speak of them. But I think that is totally wrong. Speaking out and confessing it is the cure and it’s definitely nothing to be ashamed of.