Year 4 month 6
June 2019
The last few months have been quite difficult for me with the cancer scare and everything.
I do feel though that I got off quite lightly in comparison to others. When you go through something like that you meet others going through the same thing. Very often treatment can go on for years and I am grateful I have been signed off in the matter of months. I count myself as being very blessed to have got off lightly.
This month I have also produced a book. It’s a book of my very first year of this journey from the days I drew a picture of my emotions everyday.
The day I sent it to print should have been quite exciting but I was in the middle of my cancer treatment at the time which dulled the excitement a little.
It was an exciting day though when it arrived. To actually hold a copy in my hand was quite emotional. This is my journey through weight loss and overcoming many mental health issues.
Also at the same time I felt a bit of a fraud as since that book went to print a lot of things changed. Going through everything I went through with the cancer and everything has really put certain things to the test.
After the operation I was less mobile and struggled to exercise the way I was before which didn’t help with the weight at all. It also really messed with my mind and I could really feel all those negative thoughts and bad emotions coming back.
Now that I am signed off and things are coming back to normal again I feel I can now get back on this journey. When I go through hard times, instead of me believing there is nothing I can do to improve my thoughts and feelings (which is the way I thought before I even started this journey), I now believe there is always hope, even though on occasions some of those old thoughts keep coming back to my mind. I now believe I can fight it.
So even though I feel like a fraud, in reality I really am no where near to the emotional wreck of a person I was at the beginning of the book. I am still the person who can overcome like I was at the end even if I am a little heavier.
Hi Debbie, I’ve been away from the blogging world for a while. I’m so glad to see you are still on here. Sorry to hear things have been tough but glad that you seem to be coming out the other side. I’m so excited that you have made your pictures into a book! So excited that I went straight through, click click click and it is winging its way to me now. Really looking forward to its arrival. All the best, Simcha