To the Battle Ground
November 2020
I am sure in life we have all experienced some kind of loss. Loss is part of life.
This year I think our loss is greater than any other year. However, everybody’s loss is different. We have all had loss of freedom but for some it’s a loss of jobs, loss of businesses, loss of loved ones … the list is endless.
Most of the time these losses are things we worry about and panic about and get concerned about but we have absolutely no control over them. For me, this year, I have to say I am no different.
My loss is something that upsets me daily and I struggle with it because I am heartbroken. I have no control over the outcome of how it is going to turn out but I do feel that my loss can turn around for the better.
What I do feel I have control over is how I react to my loss. I could become the victim and sit and wallow in self pity and get upset or I could hope, have faith and choose joy as my strength. I am choosing joy.
It doesn’t stop the fact that everyday is still a battle and I do, on occasions get upset and cry (I am crying as I write this), but I have found something that has really helped me through this time.
I am very fortunate to have access to a pool and I have been in the pool at least 5 times a week since the pandemic started. I am finding that it is something that has been really helpful to me, not only physically but mentally too. I have learned that there is a positive connection between exercise and mental health.
When I am in the pool I have my music playing full blast and I am there doing Aqua aerobics to the music.
The music I play is uplifting songs and they are songs that help me fight my battles. There is this one song that says, ‘I am going to sing in the middle of the storm, louder and louder, going to hear my praises roar…’ It talks about how my ‘weapon’ is a melody.
I am singing songs about having the victory and finding faith in the battle. It’s all about having to fight my way through. And whilst I am singing I am doing just that! I am singing louder and louder and my movements reflect my emotions. There’s water everywhere! There’s tears rolling down my face.
Whilst I am in the pool I seem to have the strength to want to keep fighting. I continue to hope that the situation will change and I still choose joy.
9 times out of 10, I come out of the pool feeling at peace with the situation and feeling that things will eventually turn around for the better. I also feel like 9 times out of 10 I have won the battle but there are occasions when I don’t. And that’s okay. It’s a way of me processing my emotions.
However, I am not the only person who hears this!! It’s been SO helpful to me that it has come to the stage that I don’t care what other people think. I am not known for my singing, in fact I would say that I sound like a foghorn! I have had comments that I sound very pitchy and out of breath! But I don’t care because I feel without it, I don’t think I could fight my way through the day.
This season we are all in is not the best for our mental health. The fight with our minds can seem harder. I do feel that we need to enter our battle ground daily. My battleground is singing and swimming but no doubt yours will be different. It’s just finding what works for you.