Postive Mental Health Journey
Debbie Wattis - My Story
At the start of 2016, my weight had crept steadily up to 21st 5lbs. My self-esteem and motivation were rock bottom – I was morbidly obese, lacking in energy and terribly unfit. I’d also given up hope – I was simply resigned to a life without change or improvement.
However, my husband Matt wasn’t happy for us to just muddle on in the same old way. He could see I was desperately unhappy and after a number of challenging conversations, he helped me take stock of my life, my weight and my emotional issues.
I began to realise that the food choices I was making were contributing towards my anxiety and depression and that as I became more anxious and depressed, I’d eat more of the wrong foods – and on and on it went in a vicious circle. Dieting didn’t make me feel good either – counting calories and trying not to eat made things worse and affected my mood, behaviour and emotional state.
I knew I needed professional help – someone who could guide me towards the right eating habits and choices, but also to give me the encouragement and positivity I so desperately needed.
Matt researched practitioners who could help me lose weight proactively and healthily – and we were fortunate enough to find Jen Adams a functional nutritionist who specialises not just in weight loss, but in metabolic health. Matt also spurred me on to make changes, giving me the courage and support to carry on when I really needed it – which was often!
My Year in Pictures is the story of how I lost more than 5 stone in a year.
I’d lost weight before but always put it back on. This time had to be different though because I knew that yo-yo dieting was not only playing havoc with my body, but also my mental state.
Jen Adams started me on a metabolic health plan – a healthy eating plan that was designed just for me. It’s not about the number of calories you eat, it’s about changing your habits and behaviours so you can adjust how your body absorbs and metabolises the food you eat.
I had to go through a two-day detox at first which was really tough, then two weeks of eating protein and veg with no oil or butter. After that, I could add in certain foods – beef, oats and more vegetables.
Eating more healthily and spacing out my meals gave me the energy to become fitter and more active. Changing both my diet and the amount of exercise I took helped me realign myself, both physically and emotionally. Before I started I never realised I had so many issues to deal with.
It felt important to get my feelings down on paper as I embarked on this. I’m dyslexic so drawing pictures about how I felt each day really helped me to communicate how I was feeling.
This book started as a journal, a blog – more for myself than for others – but I attracted quite an online following, people who understood what I was going through and wanted to share it with me. On some days, I had more than a thousand people reading what I wrote and I didn’t get one negative comment – I couldn’t believe it!
There were plenty of setbacks but some amazing milestones too, and by the end of the year, I’d lost 75lbs. I found support in so many places – friends who helped me exercise, encouraged me, even cooked me nutritious meals and soups to make sure I ate the vegetables I needed! They responded to my struggles and bad moods with kind words and enthusiasm and I’m so grateful to them – I couldn’t have done it without their help and patience.
I also couldn’t have done it without Jen’s advice and knowledge about nutrition. She was always at the other end of the phone when I needed her; she kept me going and stopped me from quitting. Everything she told me to do was in my best interests – it hasn’t been easy but I’ve learnt so much from her.
The ultimate achievement for me was getting fit enough to take part in a half-marathon called ‘Muskathlon’ in May 2017. I ran it in Rwanda in aid of Compassion UK, a charity that gets people to sponsor children to help them out of poverty. The best moment ever was when I got to meet my sponsored child – 16 months previously, I hadn’t even been able to walk up a flight of stairs without losing my breath.
With the help of friends and family, I’ve made a lot happen in the last few years. I’ve learned so much, I’ve changed so much, and I couldn’t be happier about where I am now.
Jen Adams - Metabolic Health Coach
“It’s incredible what a difference a year made in Debbie’s life. To anyone stuck in the same hamster wheel of yo-yo dieting and gaining weight, I’d say stop dieting and instead learn to stay healthy every day. Put yourself first and be happy. Because when you’re happy, you influence so many people around you.”
Jen Adams
Lost the weight - Now what?
In 2016, I lost more than 5 stone. I became more active and started walking and swimming. I joined my family in physical activities and in 2017 I trained for, and completed ‘Muskathlon’, a half-marathon in Rwanda, in aid of Compassion UK.
Since the start of 2016 I’ve changed enormously both physically and mentally, and I’m proud of what I’ve achieved. But what’s happened since then?
Like everyone’s, my life has been a series of ups and downs. But even with the setbacks, it’s still exciting and a continuing story of progression. I’m not the person I was at the start of 2016. I’m fitter, happier and more fulfilled.
Towards the end of 2016, I had surgery to remove the loose skin on my arms. Not long after and while I was still recovering from the operation, we went on a family skiing trip. I couldn’t ski but I did a lot of walking, often downhill to meet Matt and the boys and then back up again. I was getting fitter and more active.
I also played football with them for fun and this was great – I was back to enjoying precious time with the family and doing what I could. I wasn’t excluding myself because I felt depressed, unfit and unmotivated.
The Journey to Rwanda
And then, after giving myself time to recover from the surgery, I signed up for the Muskathlon. I had just six weeks to train for my very first half-marathon before heading to the African mainland on my own!
I remember vividly telling Jen who’d suggested I join a park run to keep me motivated and active, that I’d signed up for a half-marathon instead. She was astonished to say the least.
In May 2017, I met my team mates for the first time at the airport and we flew to Rwanda – it was utterly nerve-wracking. When we arrived, as well as the team from the UK, there were people from Switzerland, Denmark and all over Europe who’d signed up for ultras, 60k treks, bike rides, marathons and half-marathons.
This is half the reason I wanted to do this particular run – because everyone was going to cross the finish line at different times and no one would notice if I took hours and hours.
It was a week-long trip, during which time we visited the Kigali Genocide Memorial – it commemorates the 1994 Rwandan genocide, and the remains of around 250,000 people are interred there.
Over the next day or so, they also organised some team-building exercises for us and then we were taken to a sports day for Compassion children who’d come from many different places. It was here that I met Izabayo, my sponsored child. Izabayo was five years old and I’d brought him a rucksack full of gifts that I knew my own sons would enjoy – trainers, sweets, playing cards, a toy car.
My sponsorship money of £25 a month will pay for his education, his medical bills and his food at school – it’ll give him the chance to be able to study and help his family in the future.
Now, I’m not a natural runner (!) and running in this heat was always going to be hard, but Compassion UK is such a worthy cause. I was determined to at least finish it – even if I was the tortoise of the group – for them and for me, personally.
By the time we were ready to run, the temperature was up to 38 degrees. I kept cool by soaking my hair in cold water but the heat was still quite debilitating. What kept me going were the people I met along the way – small kids ran with me, and some of the leaders of Muskathlon had received sponsorship through Compassion UK when they were children so you could see how the charity had turned their lives around.
In the end, I raised £7,000 but I was proud of that as I only really had six weeks to prepare. And I wasn’t the last to cross the finish line – okay, I was the last half-marathon participant to cross, but I wasn’t the overall last.
The whole experience was amazing! I couldn’t believe I’d achieved this – 16 months before it would have been impossible to imagine. Unfortunately, when you’re on such a high, it’s easy to crash and I did a little. It took me a while to level out and balance my emotions again.
Weight-loss is just one measure..
In 2017, I felt like I was going from strength to strength – we went on holiday to Portugal and I spent time outdoors with the kids as they go-karted. We walked a lot and I rode a bike and played golf. I just felt like my confidence was really building.
Back home, I was still doing 10k runs with friends and suddenly I realised that my actual weight didn’t matter to me anymore. I was back up to around 18 stone, but I was getting out and about, meeting people, staying active and participating in life! This was what was important. I didn’t have to be a certain weight in order to be active, fit and healthy.
I took another charity trip towards the end of 2017, this time to Serbia to support a charity called Choose Life. It was organised by my church and my main contribution was to paint a huge mural on the wall of the Choose Life Centre – it’s where young, pregnant girls go when they need help. We also taught them to make craft items and generally supported them emotionally at a time when they most needed it.
Preparing for the June 2018 Muskathlon in Kenya
And in October 2017, I signed up for the Muskathlon again, this time in Kenya. I was on such a high after crossing that finish line in Rwanda that this time around, I wanted to pace myself a bit better.
I had much more time to prepare and I was quite methodical about it. It was taking place in June, so I started setting myself monthly challenges. For example, in January I was going to swim 2018 lengths of a 15 metre pool. That was around 100 lengths 3-4 times a week – and I did it!
In February, I was going to swim 2018 lengths and run 25 miles. I did it. And so on, increasing my monthly challenges until I felt I was finally ready for the half-marathon.
I was also on a mission to raise even more money and after a big charity event for Compassion UK which I helped to organise, I’d raised enough money to sponsor 22 children, the equivalent of £22,000! And then I raised another £10,000 on top of that. I was absolutely over the moon!
On this trip, I met my second sponsored child, Elvin. He’s just a month younger than one of my sons and I got the chance to go to his house and meet his father and his uncle. His family of seven live in one room divided by a curtain, they sleep on the floor and have one sofa.
I gave him a rucksack full of gifts as well – a toy car doesn’t seem like much to us but he was so happy with his presents.
While I was in Kenya I also met a few people who’d read about what I’d achieved in Rwanda. Compassion UK used me as a kind of poster child for what could be done if you really put your mind to it and I was bowled over by the fact that strangers were telling me they’d been inspired by my story.
What else did 2018 bring?
My nan died and that hit me hard. Ordinarily I’d have wallowed but actually I found an inner strength which I really didn’t know I had.
I painted live at a conference. Again, I didn’t think I had it in me but my confidence had grown and grown – I was overcoming my fears, one by one.
I supervised at kids’ camp. That was hard! There were 12 kids and only one other adult. We swam every day, played football … I don’t remember getting any rest at all. The whole week was spent being active with children and my pre-2016 self would never have been able to do that!
And then in March 2019, it all came crashing down.
I went for a BUPA medical, and although I wasn’t yet 50, they offered me a mammogram. A week later, I was talking to girls about depression at a Mercy UK workshop when I got the phone call.
They’d found a lump.
I went for tests which were just awful, and each time the news got progressively worse. I tried to stay strong, but I do remember breaking down to my son’s sports teacher, of all people!
On the day of the operation, I felt really positive. I was sure everything was going to be okay and in any case, I felt I had all to fight for. But when I came round afterwards, I was like a different person. It was like my whole body had shut down – my muscles wouldn’t work and emotionally I was a mess.
The difference was though that this time I knew that I was in a bad place both physically and emotionally but I wanted to get better. Before I’d have just let it all happen, wash over me without fighting back.
I found The Haven, a breast cancer rehab clinic and they were just brilliant. Although my mobility was bad, I joined some of their yoga and Pilates classes – it was more than just rehab, it was also a distraction. I felt like a fraud because there were many other women there in much worse situations than me, but it really helped me to evaluate everything and start to heal again.
In August, I went to kids’ camp again, this time with 30 children, and I’m sure that in the past I wouldn’t have found the strength to pick myself up and carry on like that.
So what have I learned?
Cancer shook me and surprised me, but it also made me realise that I have more fight in me than I thought.
My weight may have gone back up, but I know that isn’t as important as feeling strong, confident and well. I’m still trying to lose weight, but it’s more about my health and wellbeing – appearances really don’t matter.
I’m excited for the future and what experiences it will bring. I’m grateful for my family and friends and I’m a much happier, more confident person now than I could ever have imagined being back at the start of 2016.
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As my life continues the drawings and blog posts are created from positive mental health moments and inspirations that constantly surround me.
