Year 4 month 5
May 2019
This month has been a particularly bad month. I told you last month that I had a cancerous lump removed from my breast and that everything was ok it was caught early.
In my head I thought they would take it out and then everything would be fine and in some ways that is true. What I didn’t expect was that I couldn’t just get back into normal life like I could before.
It felt like my muscles had seized up and my range of mobility was very limited. This caused a lot of pain in my limbs.
I also had a lot more hospital appointments I had to attend. In fact I think I was in the hospital so much that my phone started to tell me how long it would take to get there when I got in the car.
I got referred to a place called the Haven which is a breast cancer clinic. They do yoga, pilates and other exercises all for breast cancer patients.
I decided I really needed something to help my mobility so I started yoga. I was also doing pilates at the hospital. I was so surprised how tired and achy they made me feel.
My first visit to the Haven I had a consultation. I just chatted to a lady and she thought I was doing really well. She did ask me though if the realisation of what I had been through had hit me yet. I asked her what she meant and she said that the word cancer can be a shock and can have a delayed reaction and affect people in different ways.
I left thinking actually I’m ok and that won’t happen to me. But it did big time!! I felt in a matter of weeks I had gone back 4 years before I even started this journey.
I talked in Year 1 on how I was fighting giants – they were my emotional giants. Well, this month they came back bigger than ever standing in my path with no way around them.
The difference this time is that I knew I could beat them but it wouldn’t be without a fight.
The fight was a battle with my mind and emotions. Somedays I have to say the giant may have been winning but I am the one who came out triumphant in the end.
Debbie it’s hard I know, but you are a fighter. The more determined you are and staying positive helps. Some days are better than others, but the mind is a battle field. Keep going we are all cheering you on. Xx